Chivalry is Dead

Dispatcher:  “Sherriff’s Department.  What’s the nature of your emergency?”

Caller:  “Yes, I’d like to report a sexual assault.”

D:  “Ok, slow down mam.  First are you safe now?

C: “I think so, he just walked away.”

D: “Ok, can you give me a description?”

C: “Male, Caucasian, brown hair, blue eyes, about 5 foot 10.  Alarmingly skinny.  Wearing a suit and tie.”

D: “OK mam, I’ve just sent out an APB on the suspect.  Can you please tell me what happened?”

C: “Oh my God, it was so scary.  I was leaving the office where I work and he and I got to the door at the same time.  He…he…oh God.

D: “Just calm down mam, I need to know what happened.”

C: He..he…he smiled at me and held the door!  Oh god!

D: “And he touched you inappropriately then?”

C: “What?  No, that was it.  He held the door for me and smiled!  Can you believe it?  It was horrible!  He just looked so rapey! 

D: “Rapey mam?”

C: “Obviously only a sicko would do something like that, right?”  My friend said he’s the same perv that offered his umbrella to her in the parking lot when it was pouring down rain!”

D: “Uh…yeah.  Sounds pretty rapey.”