Most Important Meal O' the Day

Satin-polished, fine Swiss timepieces.

German-engineered, luxury automobiles.

Bespoke-tailored, silk menswear.

4-head, video cassette recorders.

Are you accustomed to the finer things in life?

Monte Blanc.

Armani.

Swarovski.

Mentos.

Do you demand the cache that only the world's finest luxury brands can offer?  

Now, for the discriminating consumer, the makers or Johnnie Walker  Red, Black, Green, Gold, and Blue, proudly introduce new Johnnie Walker Brown, maple-flavored syrup.

New Johnnie Walker Brown syrup pairs perfectly with Eggo, Aunt Jemima, and even America's Choice brand frozen breakfast waffles.  I wouldn't pair it with Kashi brand all-natural  frozen waffles, though.  Something about whole grain makes the syrup congeal and give off a putrescent aroma.

With a touch of maple flavoring and a hint of scotch (less alcohol per serving than an ounce of Nyquil, we're not trying to get anyone to lose their job over their choice of breakfast syrup) Johnnie Walker Brown "softens the edges" of your morning while gently easing you into your day.

In fact, we believe it won't be long before you and all your friends are slurrily saying, "Johnnie Walker Brown: It's not just for breakfast anymore".  But, seriously you should probably limit Johnnie Walker Brown to one or two servings at breakfast.  You're internship is important and the first time a co-worker smells scotch on your breath in the morning meeting, you are going to be filling out a mountain of paperwork in the HR department, my friend.  Sure that lady was friendly and helpful when you needed help setting up your retirement plan the first day you started with the company, but if you think she is going to return any of your calls when you get fired and have to roll-over any contributions to another employer, you haven't been fired from very many jobs have you, Optimus?  Drink responsibly and don't be naive to the office politics going on around you.

Johnnie Walker Brown: Breakfast is Back, Baby.  

Coming soon, Johnnie Walker Mauve for your gluten-free life decisions.