Superman-Ok, everyone listen-up. Everyone. Quiet down we are starting now!
Thank you. Alright, first off, I'd like to thank you for coming. I know it's early and some of you had a very long drive/flight/teleport. As you know we are interviewing for one new male superhero and one new female super-heroine.
I must say, as I super-scan the auditorium, it sure seems like there are a lot more male applicants here than females, huh. But, I'm sure most of you who are familiar with this genre are used to that sort of ratio. Am I right? Heh-heh. Sorry, just a little superhero humor to start the day...low hanging fruit there...ok, lets begin. First applicant.
Name?
Professor-Greetings, simpletons. I am Professor Oblongata and I am here to accept the position of leader in your group of crime fighters.
Superman-Ok, well first of all, we already have a leader...
Batman-Damn straight, we do.
Superman-...as I was saying, we already have a leader and...
I'm sorry, Professor, is your superhero costume on backwards?
Professor-What?
Well, Mother laid it out for me last night, but she had to go in to work early and wasn't able to help me with it this morning. I really don't see what that has to do with...
Superman-Oh no, nothing. It's nothing.
It just struck me as odd that a professor would have his costume on backwards...
Batman-Forget about that for a minute. Are you saying you still live with your mother?
Professor-At least I still have a mother!
Superman-There it is.
Batman-Great Gotham?! Did I just hear you say...
Professor-With those ears, I assume so. Besides, she lives with me, not the other way around. Sort of like the arrangement you and Robin have I suppose.
Batman-Oh, that's it. Prepare to get bat-punched back to Arkham. I am the night!
Superman-Ok, ok! Deep breaths, everyone. That escalated quickly even for a blog entry.
Everyone just calm down. Now, as I was saying, the position of leader is already taken. However, we are interviewing for a second-tier superhero to stand in the background during group photo assemblies and help Aquaman clean the restrooms while the rest of us are out flying and fighting crime. Does that sound like something that might interest you, Dr. Oblongata?
Professor-It's Professor Oblongata and yes, very much so.
Batman-And, I assume the good professor here was just about to tell us where he obtained his doctorate. Surely an accredited institution, no doubt.
Professor-Oh, yes of course...ahem...I, uh...Phoenix.
Batman-Come again.
Professor-The online university...the University Online of Phoenix. Phoenix online University...
The University of Phoenix-Online!
Superman-Next!
Batman-Ha! That's right, kick rocks, loser.
Here, Superman, hold my Red Bull while I do some bat-push-ups.
Professor-I thank you for your time.
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