Discount Nametags

ring--Hello, Dan's Discount Nametags.

Hey.  You that feller on the tv, what advertises nametags at a discount?

Yes sir, I'm Dan.  How can I help?

Are they discounted because they all say "Dan"?


ring--Hello, Dan's Dicount Nametags.

Yeah.  I was wondering how many miles of seawall have been built in the Netherlands?

Approximately 800.


ring--Hello, Dan's Discount...

No time for that.  Is it true that it is impossible to lick your own elbow?

That is actually an urban legend, as Guiness World Records receives about five claims a day for that feat.  It is unusual though.


ring--Go for Dan.

Sorry, wrong number.  Hey, is it possible to keep your eyes open when you sneeze?

Not naturally.  If done by force, you could pop an eyeball out, or damage the surrounding blood vessels.  So, good luck, but be careful.


ring--'dis Dan.

Yeah, Jordan or LeBron?

Six rings, Bro.


ring--Moshi Moshi.

Hi, is there another word for synonym?

Mmm. Circumlocution might work in a pinch.


ring--Ahoy-hoy.

Hi, Dan.  Would you rather go back in time and meet...

Forward in time and meet my descendants.


ring--Who 'dat?

Yes, back to the seawall in the Netherlands question.  Does that include...

Including dikes.
 


ring--Talk to me, Goose.

Dan, can you name the longest running broadway show of all time?

A Chorus Line.  No, wait!  Phantom.


ring--Whasssuuuuup?

Hey, man it's me, Carter.  Long time, no see...I was one of the ushers at your wedding and stayed late to help put up chairs.  So, I was on my way to the mall when I accidentally drove through a worm-hole and ended up at Camelot Music across from Chess King.  You know, the one next to J. Riggins?  Anyway, they had boxes of Fiddle-Faddle at the check-out counter reduced for quick sale, so I bought all they had.  Just wanted to see if you could come over and help me eat some.  Oh, hey and also I picked up the new Zaxxon for my ColecoVision while I was out.  So we could...

On my way, old friend.  I'm on my way.