Wednesday, April 23, 2014

I’m soliciting advances for the following book ideas:


Elephants are Stupid – No Really, They’re Just Big Dumb Animals.

Bathroom Etiquette for the Modern Man – Don’t be THAT Guy.

Dating for Convicts and Congressmen – Keep it Consensual.

Belt Knives – The Perfect Office Accessory?

Office Assassin – Or, Basically What to do About Bryan from Accounting.

Rhinos, Brothers of the Elephant – Also so, so Stupid.

How to Walk Down the Hallway – A Short Guide to Walking in a Straight Freaking Line for Women of a Certain Age.

Tee-Ball Dad – How to Motivate Your Son to Better Sports Performance Through Intimidation and Emotional Abuse.

Henry Winchester Fogglesbottom, III – The Life and Times of my Majestic Terrier Mutt.  Still Basically Just a Dog Though.  

4 comments:

  1. "How to Walk Down the Hallway – A Short Guide to Walking in a Straight Freaking Line for Women of a Certain Age."

    And then you are a jerk for trying to pass them when they bump into you. Just pick a point on the horizon and focus, lady.

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  2. Oh my god, it makes me so angry.

    My other favorite is people who walk just inside doorways and stop.

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