A Real Banger in the Mouth

Having recently been commissioned by the blogmaster for a monthly contribution, I have felt a tremendous pressure to generate a substantial and loyal following in order to "increase ad revenue" for the site.  To that end, I'll be relying heavily on Arrested Development quotes and very little original content of my own.  I have no idea what sort of payment structure the other contributors have worked out for their submissions to this blog, but I can only hope my random musings will be found by all to be snarky, pithy, and worthy of my compensation.

Here we go.

I recently attended my first and last Blue Man Group concert/travesty, and in the words of Wayne Jarvis, "I did not find their buffoonery amusing". I fully understand and admit that I was approximately 5-10 minutes late in my arrival, but in what context does that warrant shining an enormous spotlight on myself and my special lady friend as we were attempting to make our way quietly to our seats.  It certainly seems the Blue Men would want late arrivals to create less of a disturbance, not draw everyone's attention to the unfortunate guests.  And, anyway, as I was attempting to explain to the usher while being blinded by said spotlight, I was not allowed to enter the auditorium with my appletini in hand. So, I had little recourse but to either remain outside in the atrium while continuing to sip in a leisurely manner or tilt the glass "bottoms up" like some sort of lumberjack.

If you have ever been to the the Blue Men, I am sure you will heartily agree with my assessment of their shenanigans, and if you have never been, consider your self fortunate.

Also, if you have been to more than one of their shows, we have nothing left to discuss.

I thank you,
Stately