Justice League Revelations

Ok, listen up everyone. We have a lot to talk about today. Batman and I have been talking and we think that we may be in a comic book. I know that’s a pretty big bomb to drop on you guys out of the blue like that but let’s just go over what we know and take it from there.

1. We always win. Everytime. Even when we’re faced with just, like, impossible situations.
2. We even come back from the dead. Like all the time. Bad guys too.
3. Have you seen the women? Every one of them is super-hot and they all wear the most ridiculous costumes that no one going into battle would ever wear.
4. We’ve been alive and un-aging for upwards of 80 years.
5. We can never remember where we’ve been or what we’ve been doing when we aren’t involved in a major crisis.
6. Have you ever tried to find Metropolis on the map? It’s essentially the largest city in the world and it’s nowhere to be found.

So what’s next? Well first of all I think can all stop breaking our necks to save the world. From what I can tell it’s never actually been in any real dan...whoa, ahrg… I… can’t… seem to… TRUTH… control… my… JUSTICE… body… or… SPANDEX… speech… son of  a… OK EVERYONE- DOOMSDAY IS HEADED TOWARDS EARTH AND IT’S UP TO US TO STOP HIM FOR SOME REASON. TIME TO PUT ON OUR SKIN-TIGHT AND IMPRACTICAL COSTUMES AND SAVE THE DAY. Why can’t I just stay home and watch Games of Thrones for once? UP, UP AND AWAY.