Open Mic Night (94 seat capacity comedy club, not a bad crowd for the middle of the week, several empty seats, but those in attendance are enthusiastic)

South, central Alabamaaaa!  Make some noise, y'all!  Hey, ha ha, hey, thanks for that warm reception.  I love you guys.  Love you guys.  Hey...hey, most of you know me.  And that means you know my name is Chad Tarkanian...and...woah, now...thank you.  You know that's right...Montgomery's own!  Very cool.  Always a great crowd here at the Laugh Mine.  Yes, indeed.  Very cool.  

Hey, I appreciate you coming out to support your local greater Montgomery-area comedians and, on a personal note, letting me try out some of my new material on you guys.  It means a lot.  It really does.  I, uh...can you hear me in the back?  Alright, now.  Ok.  So, the owners here were really cool about this whole idea.  Yes, give it up...big, big supporters of the local comedy scene.  Very cool.  Very cool.  Yes indeed, anyway, yeah, originally they were going to charge a cover tonight and I said, "Hey...like sex on an elevator, that is wrong on so many levels".  Huh? Alright. Very cool.  

Talk to me, Montgomery! 

Yes, sir.  So, hey...Did you guys know, or...were you aware rather, that the uh, Babylonians actually invented the number zero?  No, no it's true.  It's true.  The Babylonians.
Yeah, I know when I first heard that I was like, "Hey...thanks for nothing".  Huh?!  Right?  Oh, that's crazy. I...

You guys are pumped!   

You know as I look around, I see some familiar faces in the crowd tonight.  Very cool.  Yeah, I slap the base a little.  Yeah, so anyway I think that many of you other folks would know me from my work in a local Montgomery-area band called the 999 Megabytes, except for the fact that we haven't gotten a gig yet!  So...you...for that reason...Gig...

Whooo.  Is this too much fun?  Very cool.  

Hey, on a serious note, if I can just have your attention for a minute and then we'll get back to the entertainment...What's that?...Whoah...ouch!  Ok, yeah you got me there.  Got me there.  That was Steve wasn't it?  I set you up for that one, Steve.  Hey, though, for real though, I ...sincerely... appreciate each of you coming out and playing along...being good sports and a good crowd.  You know, we are trying to make this a regular event with the proceeds going to a different charity on each occasion.  Very cool.  Giving back, y'all. Yes, indeed, giving back.  

You know, being dyslexic myself, tonight's charity is near and dear to me, so tonight only, for every drink you order from the bra... 

Ever start a sketch without an ending?