Dr. Nathan Fard’s acceptance of the AABP’s Animal Psychologist of the Year award

Thank you. Thank you. No, please. This is too much. Thank you...Thank you. I'd like to say thank you to the Association of Animal Behavior Professionals for the honor of this award. This is truly humbling. I’d also like to thank my wife Stephanie for her unwavering support despite the many, many, uhhh... psychiatrists naysayers who have tried to convince her that her husband is a "delusional paranoid schizophrenic.” Lastly, to see so many of my former patients here tonight just confirms what I know in my heart – that I am making a difference. The cold glow of your glassy eyes tells me than words ever could. To quote the  bard---

Sir...Sir...Sir!! Please put that down and leave the store now.

Excuse me?! I'll have you know, this is a very prestigious award.

It’s a 2 pound gummy bear. Also, where did you get that? We don’t even sell those. 

It was awarded to me by a jury of my professional colleagues.

Sir, this is a Build-A-Bear Workshop. There are no---wait, why are you wearing a trench coat in June?

I was told this would be a black-tie affair.

You're not wearing a tie.

Not on my neck, i'm not...

Oh, you get the hell out!!